My daughter Alissa, who I have mentioned before in this fake blog, is a senior in high school this year. I take her to school most days, and it is often the highlight of the day.
Alissa is playing soccer for her high school, playing a position called “sweeper”. Surprisingly, this does not mean she sweeps up after games – instead, she is the crucial last line of defense. Even though she didn’t play her freshman and sophomore years, and was only a sometime starter last year, this year she is starting and playing virtually the whole game every game, even though the team is much better: 5 wins, 1 tie, 1 narrow loss so far.
I don’t know if she will play in college, as college teams at all levels are generally composed of only the very best players on their high school teams. (Contrary to the myth that anyone is good enough to play Division 3 sports.) Nonetheless, yesterday morning we were talking about her trying out for the team next year if she goes to a small school. We know that she probably wouldn’t actually make it or would be a bench person, but it is a great way for a freshman away from home to meet people on the new campus. I used the phrase “Instant friends” to describe the players on the team -- to which she replied with something that I heard as “Sad Water”. I had no idea what she meant, but it did sound like it could be an actual expression, or at least the name of some great Indian Chief who played lacrosse centuries ago. In a moment, I realized she has said “Just add water” to my “instant friends” comment, and we both laughed a lot.
After I dropped her off, I turned to NPR news, where they were talking about the snowstorms blowing across the mid-west. Apparently, these storms include both lightning, thunder and heavy snow – the thunder and lightning during a snow storm is something most of us haven’t witnessed, even if we have lived in cold climates. NPR then called this condition “Thunder Snow”. What a great expression – almost the “polar” opposite (pun intended) of “sad water”. This juxtaposition led me to do what hundreds of you have been clamoring for – do my basketball analysis fake blog about the Lakers. (Or more accurately, what several of you have gently inquired about – “hey, what do you think about the Lakers?”). So here it is – my holiday gift to each of you.
“Sad Water and Thunder Snow – My take on the best team money tried to buy.”
And if you order in the next ten minutes, my final recap of last year’s Finals between two other weather events (Heat vs. Thunder) is free, free, free, or at least attached at the bottom of this one.
TOP HEAVY: The Lakers were consciously designed as a top heavy team. They have 3 maximum salary guys (Kobe, Pao, Dwight) and one close to it (Nash). When that happens, the rest of the team is necessarily limited because of the salary cap – -unless the GM is great at filling the bottom of the roster with quality low income guys. Mitch has not been, unlike, for instance, the Spurs GM. This top heaviness also means that if one of the top 4 is out, it is a big drop off. For the first 30 games of the season, the Lakers have had one guy (Nash) out the entire time, another (Pao) either playing hurt or out altogether, and a third (Dwight) still playing at 80% after back surgery. Put simply, it is too early to panic – there will be plenty of time to panic later.
And another thing – who would have turned down either deal that brought Dwight and Nash? Lakers gave up Bynum for Dwight – Bynum hasn’t played a minute, unless you count bowling. We got Nash for a “trade exception”. While Nash has only played one full game, that is one more game than a “trade exception” plays.
TWIN TOWERS:
Will the Twin Tower concept work? Who knows? (See the previous paragraph.) Pao and Bynum played very well together at times – especially on D and rebounding (at both ends). Dwight and Pao barely know each other Give it time. Speaking of time, if you assume that both will play about 32 minutes, one or the other can be the sole post about 16 minutes of the time. Without Pao, those 16 non-Dwight minutes would got to Sacre. Sacre bleu, no!
With Pao and Dwight, we can also match up well with two other top Western Conference teams – OKC, which plays Dead Man Walking Perkins along with Ibaka, and the Spurs, who play Duncan and Splitter together.
METTA:
Frankly, Metta is playing well, much better than I would have thought. And using him at the 4 when Pao or Dwight is out means we don’t have to play Jamison, who can’t cover anyone. Who ever thought Metta would be the glue guy? Losing the extra 20 pounds sure helped.
MEEKS:
Playing Metta at 4 has opened up time for Jodie Meeks. Playing in the D’Antoni system is great for a good shooter. Shooters always shoot better when they shoot without hesitation knowing the coaching staff wants them to let it fly. The D’Antoni system has ALWAYS been great for shooters, and even made shooters out of guys who previously not. Meeks already was a good shooter – let’s see if he can become a better one. Key to the season? Perhaps.
POINT GUARDS;
Lakers have been playing their 3rd and 4th options, neither of whom should be playing at all (though Morris is actually a pretty good defender). Who would have thought we would miss Steve Blake?
KOBE:
He continues to take bad shots, especially in the last 2 minutes. He is nowhere near the defender he once was. He turns it over too much, though that should improve when Nash comes back. But the dude is leading the league in scoring at 34 years old, and shooting his highest percentage in years, both from 2 and 3. Put it another way – he is scoring more than Kevin Durant, who has only one other guy allowed to shoot in the starting line-up. Kobe is a force of nature. I worry about what he will do with himself when he retires. Will he find a new way to channel that intensity, or will he somehow learn to dial back? The other options aren’t good.
D-12
He is playing significant minutes even though he was not supposed to be playing at all yet. He is about 80% (and I don’t mean his free throws), playing a new system (after spending training camp learning a different system) with all new teammates -- and is still averaging 18 and 11. Good player at 80%, and will get better. Also, might have the biggest smile ever put on a guy.
OTHER TEAMS
Clippers are playing much better than anyone expected. If you were a Clipper fan 5 years ago, you are entitled to be a fan now. Otherwise, no bandwagon jumping. To qualify, you must nod knowingly at this old piece from the Onion (courtesy of Thunder Dan Hoffer. http://www.theonion.com/video/
Spurs are still the new-Spurs. Two nights ago they played all 12 guys more than 10 minutes –unlike the Lakers, the Spurs 6 -12 guys all contribute. Duncan is still very good. My man Manu is banged up, but they still win almost all their games.
OKC (the Snow Thunder?) have only 2 starters who can score, they play Dead Man Walking Perkins 20 minutes a game (normal line is 0 points, 0 assists, 4 or 5 boards), and they just won 12 in a row. Ah, youth.
The Heat will be in the Finals. Lebron has scored over 20 every game this year, the fourth longest opening streak in NBA history. Ray Allen was the perfect pick-up for this team. But as I said last year, a team with a legitimate post presence, like D-12, forces them to play one of their crappy post players, and that interferes with everything they do at the other end.
SAD WATER
I can’t think of a single way to work the expression Sad Water into this fake-blog. But I still loved the Alissa story – and it did spur me to write something down for the masses. Masses, this is for you. Happy holidays to all – this is the only gift you will get from me. I assume your family and friends will treat you right. If not, you can just chalk it up to Sad Water. Hey, I used it! Maybe it will go viral. Happy New Year and Sad Water to all.
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